Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
