i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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