i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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