I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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