You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
