On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Randomize
