i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
