i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
