So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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