They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
