I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
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