Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
