and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Randomize
