you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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