When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
