Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
