They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
