And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
this will be a night to untag.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize
