I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
