If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
