You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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