it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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