I would go down on you faster than GM stock
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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