his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Randomize
