I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
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