the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
