chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
