he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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