Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
