let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
