so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
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