i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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