So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Can Purell be used as lube?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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