Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
