Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
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