Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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