I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
