he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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