All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
