So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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