it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
