Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize