oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
