see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Just invented taco cereal.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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