wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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