Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
