I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
