After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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