barbara walters just said penis...
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
