Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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