Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
