brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Randomize
