u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
