i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
