she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
