apparently the secret to your success is patron
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I made him laugh his dick is mine
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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