why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Randomize
