I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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