A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize