Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
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