they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
