Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
She announced her abortion via fbk
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
