totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize